I really can’t get interested in an election that is nearly a year away.  The only thing funnier than Iowa residents trying to blacklist any state that holds a primary before their caucus (whatever that is) is other states trying to beat Iowa to the punch.  

However, this is just tooooooooo good to pass up.  Bill says his wife’s record is not being covered by the press in a vast right wing conspiracy to keep the Queen from her rightful thrown.

If that’s true, it’s darned lucky for her.  First of all, Mr. Rodham, Hillary’s public record consists of almost entirely of being the coat-tail-riding, shrew-like, screeching, scheming, bimbo-eruption-suppressing, evidence-closeting-until-the-grand-jury’s-term-expires, office ransacking, lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that), sham-wife of an ethically challenged, serial philandering (with inexcusably poor taste in women), French-fry-munching, cigar-stuffing, impeached, disgraced, disbarred, ex-President.  But, I understand his golf game is improving.  

Did I mention her shrewd play in cattle futures?  

Not to beat the philandering thing to death, but honestly, I think Hillary’s women are better looking than Bill’s.  The rumors started waaaaaayyyyyyy back in Arkansas, at least, but if you want to see a picture (with clothes.  What kind of blog do you think this is?) of a truly hot woman, look up the recent articles about Hillary’s personal assistant.  The rumors of a more-than-professional relationship are premature, oops unfounded, according the Rodham campaign.  

Let me be perfectly clear.  I have nothing against lesbians or bi-girls.   I do have a huge problem with wrecking the lives of women just because your “husband” indulges his kinky cigar fetishes with underlings at work. Pretending to have a happy marriage with such a self-destructive lecher to further your own political ambition makes the whole situation even more disgusting, if that’s possible

The unabridged list of scandals attached to this “woman” reads like a novel – think “War and Peace.”  In triplicate.  The only reason she isn’t in a federal penitentiary right now is that the “husband” she formerly pretended to live with, fired all but one of the federal prosecutors, replacing them with people who understood that poking your nose in the Queen’s business means you sleep with Vince Foster.

The remainder of the shrew’s record consists of serving as a reverse-carpet-bag Senator, for not-even two terms!  With absolutely no legislative successes, she has used her Senate platform to announce her flounder-like flip-flops on Iran diplomacy, two wars, illegal immigration, and uncounted other issues.  But, my all time favorite – so far – is accusing a Black man of abhorrently excessive ambition for daring to dream of being President while he was in grade school - this from the wife of the first “Black President.”  If that wasn’t insulting, bigoted, insensitive, and counterproductive enough, she later announced that her first announcement was a joke.  Unfortunately for her, millions of people have now seen the tape.  And it was a joke, but not the kind of joke the witless screech-er claims she intended.  This is starting to make John Kerry seem like a stable pillar of enlightened, patriotic virtue.

I am not saying Hillary would be the worst of our choices.  It just bothers me that someone with almost no discernible record of her own and no achievements at all, can be a serious candidate for dog-catcher.  The most distressing part is that I can’t even discuss Hillary’s very limited qualifications with my children.  

Note for Libs, Hillary lovers, Feminists, loons, and crackpots:  Don’t bother writing to tell me about Queen H’s legal accomplishments in Arkansas for children and all that.  1) She was promoted in the Rose Law firm only because she produced favorable regulatory decisions.  That is, "husband" Bill, the attorney general of Arkansas, could be counted on to do that.  2) All the child advocacy stuff was not child advocacy at all, but that’s a blog for another day.